I know as a parent you are supposed to be this great teacher and source of wisdom for your kids. I even do that stuff sometimes. While I would love if my kids became doctors or firefighters or Oprah, I really just want them to be contributing members of society. I mean, if The Destroyer’s love of arguing doesn’t lead him to passing the bar, maybe his knack for destruction will lead him to a career as a demolition contractor. (And, no, I have not told him that a career blowing things up is a thing.)
However, as I travel the long, hot, dusty, road that is parenting, I find that I learn from them too. Sometimes what I learn is quite profound, others not so much. For example:
The Destroyer has taught me that-
- Anything can be broken. ANYTHING.
- It is possible to go through five computers in one year.
- Uncontrollable, rolling on the floor laughter is great.
- How much fun burping contests are. I’m really good at it.
- You’re never too big to cuddle with Mom.
- Pimples don’t have to be important.
- Nothing can stop me if I don’t want it to.
- How to Hula Hoop.
- Thumb-sucking is an addiction. (Her diagnosis of her own condition.)
- It’s okay to think I’m pretty great. It’s okay to brag about it, too.
- Nobody bullies me.
- Food is better when you plate it. (She’s really good at this. You should see how pretty she can make a ham sandwich, sliced apples, and string cheese look.)
Kid Sensation. Okay, so I get a bit choked up with this one because I have learned so much from him. Having to live with his developmental disabilities has sometimes led to not just aha! moments, but full-on revelations. Kid Sensation’s way of thinking is completely different from anyone I have ever met.
- If I’m quiet enough, people will eventually leave me alone. (Difficult for someone who talks as much as I do.)
- Sometimes there’s nothing else to do but freak out, and that is okay. I might just feel better afterward.
- Don’t always explain yourself. People will eventually come to a conclusion about why you do what you do. They may even come to the right conclusion.
- You can fantasize about murdering a train. (You, Thomas. It’s you I hate.)
- It’s possible for someone to put their shoes on the wrong foot 100% of the time.
- Puppy dog eyes really do work. I tried it at the bank, and the girl kept her window open for me.
I am certain I will learn so much more over the years. Some of those things I am truly afraid of. Like where The Destroyer is getting his boob pictures from now that I am the Internet Gestapo. Or where Wondergirl buries her dead.
Image courtesy of marvelheroes.com