So I was kinda bored today and I decided to keep track of my random thoughts. Although, upon reading them back to myself, this may be a horrible idea. Dah well, I got nothing else going on. Keep in mind this is the stuff that doesn’t make it out of my mouth–which isn’t much. Enjoy:
I hate Adam Levine. There, I said it.
They’re all gonna pay. ( I have no idea what this was about.)
I should fill up the kids pool, play in it, and let all the water out before they get home. They won’t be able to prove a thing.
You know what, I didn’t make this mess, and I refuse to clean it up.
I am having a really good butt day. (Twerks in the mirror.)
We should make dinner together tonight. The kids will like that.
I JUST washed a bunch of his socks. Where the green beans did they go?
Oh wow! Viola Davis looks amazing. (She’s on the cover of Essence.)
Somebody shut that dog up. (It was our dog.)
I should really vacuum now. Or maybe in a few minutes.
(Looking at the neighbor) Where is she going–zomygod I forgot about the kids!
JAYSUS that’s an ugly dog. I mean, GOOD LORD somebody get that thing off the streets.
I’m raising a genius! (About the Destroyer.)
I’m raising an idiot! (Again, about The Destroyer)
Can you not tell from my one-word answers that I don’t want to talk right now?
NOW who’s screaming?
I am surrounded by idi–oh wait, that was my bad.
Kid Sensation is making weird noises in the other room. Best not to get involved.
What are you lookin at? (To the dog. He then comes and licks my face. He knows I can’t stand him; yet he refuses to care.)
I am ash-shee. (But the lotion is upstairs. The olive oil is down here though…)
Did both knees just crack when I stood up?
Taraji P. Henson irritates me. Oh no, will they let me stay Black?
What is Kid Sensation running from? Best not to get involved.
Why should I be the one to drive away and never come back? They should be the ones to go! (I don’t really think this. Most of the time.)
Why am I poor? (Looking at boots for fall.)
Oh yeah, Big Man? Well If I was like my mother, my house would be clean.
I heard a crash and a lot of shushing and whispered apologies. I should stay out of it.
This was all by four p.m. You guys, I may need to see a professional.