Okay, so I you read my blog on a regular basis (and I know you do, because it’s just that entertaining) then you know that I love me some superheroes. Marvel, DC, Justice League, Avengers, all of it. I’ve already done a post about which super powers I would like to have. Now I’m going to do this one about which superheroes the people in my life actually are. I mean, if you think about it, we all have people in our lives that have traits of certain mutants or aliens. Like, my sister Birdie and I have mutual acquaintance that would be Rogue because she sucks the life out of everyone. Like that.
Of course, I would be Batman. Wait–The Destroyer has just informed me that I am not Batman. He is insane.
“Of course I’m Batman. I’m fabulous all day and then I lurk around all night fighting dirt and crime. Mostly dirt. Also, I always wear black.” Not sure if Batman wears black because it’s slimming, but whatever.
“Yeah, but Batman carries out his threats.”
“Not the point, look, I’m trying to type here–”
“You’re actually the Punisher. You just go around busting up everyone’s fun.”
What? I thought I was fun, not the fun-buster.
“No, it’s just that being the fun-buster is fun for you. That’s why you smile when you do it.” (Note: This is not why. I just have this weird quirk where I smile when I’m angry. Don’t ask me why, I wish I looked fierce and scary and intimidating.)
“You shut up and let me be Batman before I punch the air out of your lungs.”
He laughed, said “Punisher” and went to eat all the food out of the refrigerator.
I have previously called the Big Man my own personal Hulk. But now that I think about it, that’s not quite right. He has no Bruce Banner side to him; he always just walks around being huge and intense. He’s the Juggernaut. Like this:
He does that several times a day.
Wondergirl is Captain America. She doesn’t make the rules, but she sure will enforce them. With violence. Sweet, sweet, justified violence.
The Destroyer. He’s Beast. No, he’s not blue, and he’s not even really hairy yet. But he does run around on all fours (not joking) and can physically do some pretty amazing crap. He’s also pretty smart when he feels like it.
Kid Sensation. I almost put Kid Sensation down as Iron Man, because of how good he is with technology. But Iron Man talks too much. So I gave him Cyborg. I would ask him what he thinks of that, but he won’t say anything, anyway–he’s on the computer trying to buy something behind my back. Haha, Kid, there’s no money in that account. There’s no money in any account. Joke’s on–well, all of us, I guess.
Birdie is Storm. She’s usually the voice of reason, until she gets mad. Then it’s lightening bolts and tornadoes for everyone.
Ah yes, Supermom. No, she is not Superman, she is Darkseid. I’m dead serious.
What about the folks you know? Who are you?