Bad Wife! Bad, bad, wife!

Okay, so let me say this: I love my husband. Love, love, LOVE the Big Man. However, sometimes I do think things that I do not say. Oh, and after discussing this with a couple of my friends (who shall remain nameless) I know that I’m not the only one. Check this out:

Shutupshutupshutupshutup SHUT. UP.

I decided to stand over here where you are not standing. Why did you follow me?

Is his life insurance paid up? Cause I could live very well on that kind of cash.

What? What do you want now?

If I close my eyes and breathe really deep, maybe he’ll think I’m sleeping.

I don’t really have a headache. I’m not interested in sexytimes with you because I’m still turned off by that horrific garlic fart you cut after dinner.

So the only reason you’re upset is because I’m upset? I know we’re supposed to be one flesh and all, but that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.

Maybe if I don’t say anything, he won’t repeat that.  Oh, well. Guess I was wrong.

How can you be this cheap? How?

No, I don’t want to share my special snack with you.

When someone eats my special snack...
When someone eats my special snack…

We have lived in the same place for years. YEARS. How is it that you don’t know where anything is?

Yes, because grocery shopping is my idea of a good time. Wheeee!

This is what I get for marrying for love.

I’m not PMSing. I’m just telling you that so I can be horrible for the next few days. (I didn’t say this one, but by golly I might just do it.)

I’d run away but I have nowhere to go.

What the barnacles is that smell?

Because I think this show is stupid! I just watch it to hang out with you, but it’s really, really stupid and my eyes are actually rolling themselves.

Oh, you want me to stop reading and pay attention to you? I guess I can do that. (Ok, this one is me.)

Of course we love our significant others. Which is why we don’t say most of this out loud. Well, maybe I do, sometimes. Not the point. The point is, I dunno, love and such.

Did I miss any? Do share.

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