Kiddie Oscars.

So I went to Kid Sensation’s awards ceremony today.  Normally, I don’t like awards ceremonies because I feel like they’re “Oh, my kid is so great” porn.  Maybe I’m hating. Which, as you know, is what I do.

But not today.

Today I’m going to be wicked sappy and sentimental and talk about how beautiful it was.  Because it was.  First of all, it was a UN of kids that won awards.  Not joking.  I mean, Black, White, Mexican, Guatamalan (not Mexican), Tongan (not Samoan), Samoan (not Hawaiian), Indian (from India you guys, I’m not completely ignorant), and Russian.  It was AMAZING.  They were all cheering each other on and yelling each other’s name when they got announced—amazing.

Then came my baby’s turn.  I can’t even.  So, I’ve told you all, Kid Sensation is developmentally disabled.  We have been through it and back.  I’ll just tell it.  And, just so you know, I am definitely crying  as I write this right now, so feel sorry for me.

At the beginning of this year, Kid Sensation was getting 1 out of 26 math problems correct in a one minute timed test. As of today, he is getting 21 of 26 problems correct.  It’s a big deal.  Even other parents were like, “Wow!”

And then.  Then.  Kid Sensation, being Kid Sensation, yells in front of everyone, “Hey, Mom, are you proud of me?”  Chile, everyone lost it.  Everyone.  Including GracieLynn’s redneck daddy (this is based on his scraggly beard, his meager cowboy hat, and oh, yeah, his “White Pride” windshield decal).  He was clearing his throat and wiping tears like crazy.

How Kid Sensation see himself.  I do too.
How Kid Sensation see himself. I do too.

So this awards assembly was worth it.

But don’t expect me to be at the everyone-gets-one-for-participation awards assembly.  They take too gosh-darn long.

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