I’m going on vacation. Nope, that’s wrong, I’m taking the kids on vacation. Let’s be honest, taking the kids on vacation and me being on vacation are two entirely different things. Oh, and did I mention my parents are going with us?
I have never been on a plane with my kids. I’m scared, you guys. I don’t know what to expect. The Destroyer can’t sit still at all. When he is sitting he idles, like a motor. Wondergirl can’t sit by either of her brothers without using her fists in some way. Kid Sensation, well he’s okay. He doesn’t say much, but then Wondergirl makes him cry and by that time my last nerve is completely shot. This is when we drive to the grocery store that is two miles away. I have no idea what to expect on a 6 hour flight.
Of course I have all the requisite electronics and you better believe I’m paying for in-flight TV and such. But what if that doesn’t work? I checked the TSA website, and it seems they frown upon bringing duct tape and rope on board. So now what?
Google, is what. Pinterest, is what. I looked at all kinds of tips and suggestions, and all they did was confirm that everyone else is a better, craftier parent than I am. All I can do is imagine my kids’ response when I present them with a mini soccer game made out of paper and straws. I keep hearing Piper Laurie’s voice in my head, “They’re all gonna laugh at you. They’re all gonna laugh at you.” And since I don’t have Carrie’s telekinesis, I would just have to sit there and take it. Hurt feelings and all.
We’re leaving tomorrow. Help! For the love of all that is good, HELP ME. Otherwise, Wondergirl may hijack the plane with a plastic spoon, a rubber band, and a napkin and make the pilot take us to Paris (that’s her dream vacay).
Hmmmm…I might let her. I’ve never seen the inside of a Parisian prison before.
Suggestions welcomed, encouraged and begged for.